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X-Men #17 (1966, February)

August 18, 2012

Shameless self-promotion: I’m still writing The Champions, a superhero story, much of which is an X-Men rip-off. Feel free to check it out. Anyway, by Lee, Kirby, Roth, Ayers and Simek, “. . . And None Shall Survive!”

. . . And None Shall Survive!

Wow. That is one red cover.

The X-Men, having defeated the Sentinels, are being checked out by medics while soldiers secure the area. Iceman, Beast and Cyclops are taken to a hospital. Iceman blacks out and becomes delirious. Angel checks their answering machine and finds out that his parents are dropping by for a visit, and Xavier sends him back to the school to scout around. When he goes inside, a battle axe flies at him. When he chases after the one responsible, he crashes into a mirror or something. Xavier and Cyclops return, and Xavier’s taken out with a “mechanical mental-wave distorter.” A transparent shield keeps Cyclops from helping him. The lights go out, and Cyclops is pounded into submission.

Back at the hospital, Marvel Girl goes to see Beast, who’s bouncing around his room. He calls her a wench.

Wench

Not cool, dude, not cool.

He tosses out a few more sexist remarks when she tries to tell him she’s concerned about the others, but he does agree she has good reason to be concerned. They return to the school, once Marvel Girl remembers her telekinesis (she apparently forgot she can levitate to the ground).

X-Men #17

You’re a credit to your gender, Jean.

I do want to note that she was apparently already out the window before she remembered. Jean is not very bright. Beast charges in like an elephant, and glides along the gloss everything’s been coated with. He passes through a door that closes behind him. Marvel Girl is confronted by the one responsible, and passes out from sleeping gas. Iceman seems to be getting worse, back at the hospital, and the X-Men are all shoved into a hot air balloon that rises into the sky. Because just killing them isn’t how supervillains roll.

Warren’s parents show up, and are greeted at the door by . . . MAGNETO! Duh duh DUUUUUHHHH!

X-Men #17

Master of Dramatic Reveals.

You know one of the great things about comics of this time? They put no thought into whether things made sense. How did Magneto get all those traps set up so quickly? Also, why does he care if the people he’s knocking unconscious know who he is? Oh, well.

Meanwhile, the same month, Ka-Zar was appearing over in Daredevil #13, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch had their first run-in with Doom in Avengers #25, and Amazing Spider-Man #33 came out, with the awesome cover, and the epic scene of Spider-Man lifting an underwater base. Nothing to do with the X-Men, it’s just a genuinely awesome scene. Ditko was probably the best artist Marvel had at the time.

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