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X-Men comics (December 4, 2013)

December 5, 2013

I got comics today. Now I will talk about them.

First, I suppose, Amazing X-Men #2, by Jason Aaron and Ed McGuinness. Storm, Iceman and Firestar are all in Hell. And caught between two warring armies. Storm’s orders are to just beat up everyone. Her powers don’t work, so instead, she just grabs a big-ass mace. Whatever works. Up in Heaven, Northstar is having fun fighting flying pirates, fulfilling a dream he’s had since he was 9. His voice here is off, though. Aaron doesn’t have a very good handle on him. Wolverine fights demons on the ground. His Storm, meanwhile, is busy being epically badass. But she gets captured. Iceman freezes Hell, then passes out. Wolverine gets knocked off the pirate ship in Heaven. This is much like the first issue. If you liked the first issue, you’ll probably like this one. There’s nothing particularly zany here, so that’s definitely a plus. McGuinness’ art is a little more cartoony than I like, but that’s a personal preference. He does what he does very well. The art is never tough to follow, at least, which is the most important thing in the art. The story is OK. Azazel doesn’t appear in this issue, and considering he was an awful character, and part of one of the worst stories ever told. The less we see of that piece of crap character, the better. The fact that Aaron is even using Azazel pisses me off. It’s impossible for me to enjoy a story with Azazel, because The Draco was seriously one of the worst things I’ve ever read. I know a lot of people thought he was cool in X-Men: First Class, but even there, I hated every single second of screen time he got, because he never should’ve existed in the first place. If I had a time machine, the second thing I would do is stop The Draco from being written. (The first thing? Stop the Hellfire Brats from ever seeing print. The third thing would be to stop that stupid frigging Aerosmith song from Armageddon from being recorded, because that is the worst song ever, in the history of music.) Anyway. Overall, I’m pretty meh on this book.

X-Men Legacy, by Simon Spurrier and Khoi Pham. Legion has gone into the Superorganism, the “hive mind” connecting all humanity, to fight the Evil Xavier Thing, which is turning humanity evil. David’s explaining the situation to Ruth, who’s a little freaked out about what’s happened to him. She’s worried that by becoming stronger, he’ll become the monster she has to destroy. Then he asks her for a dance. They start to dance, then she freaks out again, not wanting to lose him. They confess their love for each other, and then he knocks her out and goes back to fighting the creature. The fight’s pretty cool, but the real battle is verbal, as the creature tears David apart just by talking. The story’s still good, but I must confess, I’m getting a little tired of David’s self-doubt and angst and all. I’m also not keen on the art. It’s not as unpleasant as Huat’s, but it’s still not something I like. This book has never had art I really enjoyed. The writing’s been solid, but even that feels weak here.

Marvel Knights: X-Men #2, by Brahm Revel. Wolverine attacks Sabretooth, but is distracted when he sees Silverfox. Rogue pops in to beat up Sabretooth while Wolverine looks for Silverfox. Then Sabretooth turns into Mystique, and Blob and Pyro appear. Wolverine runs into Hellfire Club guards. Then he spots a teenaged girl, who’s really scared and shoots him. Then the little green mutant from the start of the first issue shows up. The girl cuts herself, and all the villains, and the green kid, disappear. They talk to the girl, named Darla, and it turns out her mother was a former stripper, and Darla’s power – pulling up memories and making them appear – drove her mom to suicide. There’s also some stuff going on in town, with drugs and guns and kidnapping. We get some snippets of that. This is a really cool story. The art, of course, is fantastic. Dark and moody, a little rough, a perfect match for the story. There’s all sorts of mysteries going on, and all sorts of tension among the characters. Darla’s past is very sad, and the way it’s shown almost as ghosts is really cool. A really cool touch. Great book. Worth picking up.

Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe #3, written by Christopher Hastings, pencils by Jacopo Camagni (and Victor Calderon-Zurita). So Longshot is about to be hit by the SHIELD Helicarrier. Over at Strange’s house, the woman asks her daughter to change the TV to the news, where they see Longshot. The demon in the girl’s teddy bear seems concerned. Dazzler is also trying to keep it from crashing. It stops just a few feet off the ground, which makes everyone except Chaos happy. Chaos decides to summon some alternate-reality beings, and winds up with Vampire Wolverine, Werewolf Captain America, an aged Magneto, and Dracula with a cybernetic eye. Spider-Ock gets knocked into Strange’s place by Hulk, moments before Order and his mind-controlled superheroes show up. Somehow, Spider-Ock analyzes the situation perfectly. Because this book thrives on being ridiculous. Longshot is about to be killed by the Were-Cap, only to be saved by the real Cap, in another bizarre moment. Cap is then attacked by the vampires, though he fought plenty of vampires who worked for Hitler, so he’s fine. So they go after Longshot instead. Luckily, Old Magneto sneezes and lets loose a magnetic shockwave that knocks Blade out of the trunk of a cab, and he kills the vampires. I cannot stress enough just how absurd this comic is, and how funny it gets. The creators are clearly having a blast with this story, and it’s infectious. It’s impossible not to enjoy it. There’s so many great gags all going on. The coincidences get weirder the longer it goes. Which is kinda the point. It’s a lot of fun.

Deadpool #20, written by Gerry “Dig It” Duggan and “Flyin'” Brian Posehn, art by “Great Scott” Koblish. Once again, I implore Marvel to bring back the nicknames. Do it, Marvel. You know you want to. Anyway, this is another of those “inventory” issues that I hate. This time, it goes back to 1968, and Wakanda. The art is in Jack Kirby’s style. This is as good a time as any to say that I hated Jack Kirby’s style. So, this art does not please me. Anyway, he’s attacked by a bunch of monsters, and he kills them. Then a meteor crashes and leaves behind a puzzle piece. And then blah blah blah, these guys are nowhere near as clever as they like to think. Hate it. I hate this comic so, so much. This series was seeing a lot of improvement, and then they toss this piece of shit out. It’s just incredibly awful. Do not buy this comic.

Fantomex MAX #3, by Andrew Hope and Shawn Crystal. EVA wakes up in a body, in a weird virtual reality world. Shivas, her creator, is there with her. Meanwhile, in the real world, Fantomex is fighting a giant squid-crap-thing. Underwater. And kills it. Also meanwhile, the crazy red-headed bitch brings the blonde detective lady, defeated and bruised, to another of the evil guys. Then the leader of the bad guys kills that dude. Then their backstory. Then Fantomex finds Shivas, an old man in a tube. And then Fantomex confronts the bad guys. This is still a very cool book. This one’s got some revelations, and adds another twist or two. The art remains pretty cool. I kinda liked it less here than I did the last two issues, though. I’m not sure why. I’m just losing interest in the art, I guess. Still, it remains a good book.

There’s the X-titles. A few other things to talk about.

Guardians of the Galaxy #9, by Brian Bendis and Francesco Francavilla. Gamora is pissed at Quill because she believes he must have made a deal with Thanos to get out of the Cancerverse. But she also feels bad about Earth being under attack. So she goes back to fight. Back on the Peak, Quill and Rocket are trying to figure out what Angela’s doing there. The distraction allows Quill, Rocket and Brand to get away. Out in space, Angela isn’t doing well, because it turns out bringing a sword to a gunfight is a bad idea. Drax and Groot help her out. Brand, Quill and Rocket get to the control room, and reach the Avengers (specifically, Captain Marvel), but they come under attack, which leads to a pretty funny conversation.  This issue has some good action, and some pretty funny dialogue. Bendis is very good at clever dialogue. And Francavilla delivers a couple awesome double-page spread of the battle outside the station. It’s a good book.

Inhumanity #1, by Matt Fraction and Olivier Coipel. Karnak is babbling to himself about extinction. The Avengers try to talk to him, but he smacks Banner. he starts beating up the Avengers, until Hawkeye takes him out with an electro-arrow. Gee, I wonder why Fraction let Hawkeye be the one to win the fight. We get a history of the Inhumans, as the Avengers try to get Karnak to explain what happened. Most of it is just Karnak saying what happened during Infinity. Nothing that needs to be talked about. So I won’t. This was OK, I suppose, but it really was just exposition. Some decent character stuff for all that, but still exposition for anyone who didn’t read Infinity.

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From → 2013

One Comment
  1. Azazel didn’t anger me in the movie, but only because I didn’t even know who he was at the time. Now that I know of The Draco … let’s just say I’m hoping he’s not in Days of Future Past. Limiting Kitty Pryde’s roll in the movie version will do it enough harm as it is. And the less we see of Nightcrawler’s NOT father, the better.

    Amazing X-Men has potential, but issue 2’s biggest problem is its patronizing narration. It takes way too long for anyone to figure out where they are, especially since both Iceman and Storm have been in a version of Hell several times before.

    And it was nice to see Captain Marvel making a cameo in Guardians, especially with all the hints she’d be temporarily joining them soon.

    This week’s been fairly mixed in general. At the least though, it makes for a more interesting blog post than if all the comics you read are good.

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