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Uncanny X-Men #183 (1984, July)

September 14, 2014

I’ve finished my first week at Wal-Mart. Bleh. Today’s story, by Claremont and JRJr, is “He’ll Never Make Me Cry.”

He'll Never Make Me Cry

Oh yeah, this is going to be a fun issue.

We start with Colossus and Kitty sitting on the cliff watching the sunset. He mentions that while in space in the Secret Wars, he fell in love with someone else. Here’s the actual dialogue. Kitty: “Anything interesting happen out there?” Piotr: “I met someone else. We fell in love.” A master of tact. He mentions that she saved his life, and Kitty thinks she did, too. A fair point. He apologizes for it, but says he can’t deny his feelings, and that the love he felt for Kitty isn’t there any more. She says she wants him to be happy, and then excuses herself to do homework. She heads back to her room, and starts crying.

Storm heads down to the Danger Room, where Rogue’s fighting a couple robots. She gets knocked down by one, but Storm destroys it with a lightning bolt, then yells at Rogue for running a combat program alone. Rogue’s been feeling pretty upset since the thing with Rossi. Storm thinks Xavier picked a terrible time to be away, between Rogue’s bitterness and Kitty’s heartbreak. She also thinks it would’ve been better if Colossus had died than to have brought Kitty so much grief.

Piotr gets back to the house, and gets marched right back out by Wolverine, who says they’re going into town for a drink. Nightcrawler teleports into the car to keep things from getting out of hand. Storm checks in on Kitty, and finds her packing. She’s going to visit her dad in Chicago.

Then, an intermission to Dallas, where Valerie Cooper and Raven Darkholme are driving and chatting about mutants. They’re on their way to meet Forge.

Back in Manhattan, Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus are at a bar. Apparently, in 1984, in New York, the legal drinking age was 18. Now, of course, it’s 21, because the US is a weird place sometimes. Nightcrawler tells Wolverine not to go through with what he’s planning. After a few hours and lots of drinks, Wolverine demands an explanation. Colossus says he fell in love. Wolverine doubts him, and thinks Colossus is just scared of how serious things had been getting with Kitty. He also catches Juggernaut’s scent. He figures they should leave before Juggernaut spots them. He tries to get Colossus out, but he refuses and falls over and spills his beer on Juggernaut. It’s fight time, and Wolverine plans on enjoying the show. Juggernaut’s annoyed – he just wanted to have some drinks and some fun, maybe get laid.

Juggernaut kicks Colossus’ ass and collapses the whole building on him. Then he spots Wolverine and Nightcrawler, who decline to fight. Juggernaut says Colossus did himself proud, tosses some money for the owner to rebuild, and walks away while Wolverine helps Colossus out of the rubble. Colossus is pissed at them for not helping him. Wolverine reminds him he never even thanked Kitty for saving his life by agreeing to join the Morlocks. Nightcrawler says Wolverine was harsh, but Wolverine says it was justified. That Colossus never considered Kitty’s feelings, only his own, and he reneged on the debt he owed her.

Meanwhile, Selene has eaten a man. She’d been hitting on Juggernaut earlier, before the fight, but had to settle for some dude. She’s out in the world now, able to hunt, and eventually, to rule.

This is a very good issue. It’s mostly a downtime issue, exploring the various feelings of the characters. There’s a fight, but even the fight is actually meant as a character exploration, which is cool. I am glad to have the Kitty/Piotr relationship ended. The age difference was too much. He’s almost 20, and she’s 14. The rule is “half your age plus 7,” so Colossus shouldn’t have been dating anyone younger than 16. Still, the break-up here was done well. It was really sad, and Kitty’s feelings were presented well. Rogue’s fear and bitterness regarding her powers was another good scene. Supposedly, Jim Shooter ordered the break-up, because, seriously, a 19-year-old dating a 14-year-old is not cool.

This issue does accomplish a couple other things. It brings Selene back, and establishes her as a threat the X-Men will have to worry about. It continues the plot of the government wanting to exploit mutants, and sets up Forge’s introduction next issue (which is a huge issue). And it sets up the Kitty Pryde and Wolverine limited series.

JRJr’s art is effective. He manages to capture Kitty’s pain, and her refusal to show that pain. He also draws an awesomely angry Rogue. There’s some nice use of shadows here and there. The fight could be better. There isn’t much power to the hits. The action is much weaker, here, than the character work.

I forgot, in my previous post, to do the other X-Men appearances for June 1984. There was Secret Wars #2. The X-Men didn’t do much, but Magneto captured the Wasp. In Spectacular Spider-Man #91, by Al Milgrom, the Blob shows up. Unus’ power is still acting up, and he winds up dying when he repels the air. Blob goes insane with grief, and goes on a rampage. Spider-Man and Black Cat fight him. They make fun of him, and Spider-Man makes a joke about how Blob expects to make friends, and Blob gets depressed and sits in the middle of the street crying. It’s kind of an odd issue, really.

Song of the day: Apply Some Pressure by Maximo Park.

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