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Dazzler #40 (1985, November)

April 5, 2015

Today, by Goodwin and Chadwick, “Travelers.”

Travelers

Why are the bikers wearing tights?

The issue opens with three bikers driving down the highway. They look like they drove off the set of some shitty post-apocalyptic movie. They’re wearing stupid outfits, and stupid visors, and don’t look like any biker in the history of bikers has ever looked. It lets us know right off the bat that this is going to be a very stupid issue (as if the Secret Wars II banner on the cover didn’t give that away already). Meanwhile, a guy is driving a big rig. His name is Dust, and he’s the one who hired Chase to find Dazzler, and he’s also apparently hired the “Outriders” to intercept Chase and Dazzler. Dust mentions having had to shift bodies a lot recently. He’s talking to someone named Silence.

Chase has pulled over to the side of the road, and is complaining about Dazzler’s disappearing (from Secret Wars II #4: Why Must I Be A Beyonder In Love, a title I just made up because it’s more entertaining than this comic). Meanwhile, Beyonder’s taken Dazzler to a shopping mall. He wants to hear her sing. She declines, so he brings her back to the truck, which Chase has already left to find a tow truck. The female biker sees Chase walk into town. Chase goes to the bar. The three stupid bikers follow him in and demand he release Dazzler. He draws his shotgun, but something forces it back. The bikers are apparently telekinetic.

Dazzler arrives to help Chase out. She blasts the bikers and knocks them out. She and Chase chat, and the bikers get back up and attack her, with stronger powers than they showed before. They take Dazzler down, and the Beyonder comes out of her. He’d slipped inside in order to experience her satisfaction when she beats the bikers, but she’s failed, so it’s just frustration she’s feeling. One of the bikers has a big rig charge them, but Beyonder smashes it. Then they get on their bikes, and once again he takes one down. So then the bikers blow up the pumps at the gas station. Dazzler and Beyonder work together to protect themselves, and Dazzler notes that she doesn’t feel herself weakening.

The three bikers have merged together into some weird freaky monster-thing that looks like three people on a motorbike. Dazzler decides to just walk away. The Beyonder agrees to stop the game. The townsfolk show up with guns, pissed off at all the destruction, but the Beyonder fixes it all. He also mentions that the initial surge in power the bikers experienced came from Dazzler’s light.

It’s so stupid. Secret Wars II sucked so much, and it dragged down so many books. Not that Dazzler was a great book at the best of times, but that just means the stupidity becomes even more obvious. This issue is all about exploring the nature of “satisfaction,” and it’s explored through the means of a fight against a trio of stupid bikers. It’s so lame. When the best part of the issue is the protagonist saying “screw this, I’m outta here,” then you’ve got a problem. Chadwick’s art is fine. It’s very much Marvel house style of the time, very standard stuff, doesn’t stand out for good or bad. The only part of the book that isn’t straight-up bad, really.

Song of the day: Lily’s Kitchen by Sidney York.

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From → 1980s, 1985, Dazzler

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