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X-Men comics of April 29 2015

April 29, 2015

So that job I applied for? I didn’t get it. I was second in the competition. Ugh. Anyway, here’s comics.

X-Men #26, by G. Willow Wilson and Roland Boschi. Rachel narrates this issue. She talks about how she can feel things, sometimes even feeling into the past. She feels the creation of the place they’re in. Then she channels the psychic powers of herself, Psylocke and Monet to get them all out with a reverse cave-in. Storm also managed to get out. The ladies are happily reunited. “Krakoa Part 2,” as Rachel calls it, wakes up. It goes after the nearby emergency response centre, but Gambit keeps it safe. Rachel tries to talk to Krakoa, but it’s not interested, and it smacks her out of the air. Luckily, Jubilee’s there in the Dove to save her. Psylocke keeps the plane from crashing. Rachel wants to try to talk to it again, but Storm thinks it’s too dangerous. Rachel at least keeps it from feeling pain while it gets destroyed. It’s a good finale to the arc, with some really sweet moments. Wilson makes good use of the characters and their abilities (well, not Jubilee’s abilities), and tells an interesting story. The Kree stuff from earlier in the arc ends up feeling like a little bit of filler, truthfully – it probably could’ve been cut out without it hurting the story. But ah, well. Boschi’s art was OK. Not my style, really. It’s a bit muddy a style. It’s not bad, but I don’t really like it.

Spider-Man and the X-Men #6, by Elliott Kalan and Marco Failla. The class is impatiently waiting for Spider-Man to arrive to class. Ernst and No-Girl are both absent, and Eye-Boy thinks maybe they were captured by supervillains. Which is the case – they’re being held by Sinister. He’s collected DNA samples from everyone at the JGS. He mentions Ernst being very odd, like she was designed, with the most formidable psychic defences he’s come across. He speculates her strength is actually her mind forcing itself on reality. Ernst agreed to help him so he could make a new body for No-Girl. The students are checking for clues in Spider-Man’s room, and Shark Girl finds a scent like the old paper mill. Sinister reveals No-Girl’s new body, though now that she has a body, I guess she should be called Martha. She’s in Storm’s body, dressed like Sinister. The kids arrive at the mill, and Eye-Boy sees immense electrical current going towards the mall. It cuts to three hours later. Apparently, they fought the Nasty Boys off-panel. Aw, I’m sad. I liked the Nasty Boys. Storm’s got a team of X-Men clones – in addition to Martha in the Storm clone, there’s clones of Wolverine, Firestar, Beast, Nightcrawler and Iceman. Martha is forced to attack Ernst while the others fight the clones. This is the final issue of Spider-Man and the X-Men. It will not be missed. By me, anyway. This one wasn’t actually as bad as the previous issues. Storm, when she appears at the end, isn’t a total bitch, like earlier in the series. Kalan touches a little on some of the hints Morrison laid for Ernst. Ernst was a very interesting character, back when Morrison introduced her. This issue has Hellion and Shark-Girl start dating, which meh. There’s a whole lot of meh. Kalan’s take on Sinister is a very classic one, but it’s also a very boring one. Gillen’s Sinister remains the best version of the character.

Wolverines #16, by Charles Soule and Ario Anindito. Shogun’s been getting nosebleeds. Junk says he started with nosebleeds, and now his arm is a mess. He’s pretty pissed about his impending death, and hates the Wolverines. Laura comes to get them. In Rome, the other Paradise people are fighting the Arcadians. The Paradisers get defeated. Junk figures they have to save them. Mystique is talking to Portal, and she says she needs him. She hears the others debating about saving the Paradisers, and goes to say that Laura can’t leave. Sabretooth and Daken decide to join the mission, too. If only to piss off Mystique, I guess. Deathstrike also joins them, because she doesn’t want to stay on the plane with an annoyed Mystique. Pretty decent issue. It actually advances the plot that started this whole series, with the Paradise people wanting to find a way to not die. Yeah, remember that whole thing? Yeah. How the hell can a weekly series still end up feeling so slow? Bleh. Soule’s writing here is good, as is Anindito’s art. Still not a book I care about.

That’s the X-stuff, here are a couple more comics.

Silk #3, by Robbie Thompson and Stacey Lee. Silk is in a ruined office, feeling hurt. She’s fighting the guy from the first issue. Dragonclaw. He’s got a fancy new look that makes him look a lot more like a dragon. He kicks her ass, including throwing a car at her. She flashes back to Ezekiel wanting to lock her away. She didn’t much want to do that. She gets an adrenaline rush, and goes back on the attack. She shoots a web to Dragonclaw’s wing, and then drops, ripping his wing off. The scene starts going back and forth between her beating up Dragonclaw and fighting Ezekiel. The bad guy asks her to stop, and she does. She feels bad about losing her temper on him. He explains he’s got a kid, an he’s got a record that makes finding a job tough, so he started doing jobs for Black Cat. Silk isn’t sure she believes his story – it’s pretty cliched – but she suggests he go to Alchemax for a job. Another solid issue. This is mostly about Silk as a superhero. It touches on her past, as well, of course, with her anger at Ezekiel wanting to lock her away forever. But mostly, it’s her being a superhero. And she’s not great at it right now. She’s still a rookie, and she has no idea what she’s doing, which led to her getting her ass handed to her pretty handily until her adrenaline rush and losing her temper. I also like that she is still a really nice person. There’s been a trend, lately, towards new superheroes (especially female ones) who want to help people, rather than just beat them up and leave them for the police. It’s nice. Lee’s art is gorgeous. She’s got a great sense of motion, and a great handling of emotions. Characters are expressive. I’m really enjoying this book.

New Avengers Ultron Forever #1, by Al Ewing and Alan Davis. ’80s Thor has been stabbed in the heart by Ultron Thor, but ’80s Thor can’t actually die, because he’s operating under Hela’s curse at that time. He grab Ultron Thor, and is awesome boastful as he unleashes a storm right inside him. Then Lady Thor blasts him with more lightning, and Ultron Thor vomits out nanomachines that take Loki’s form. Ultron Thor kills him with his sword, and is no longer Ultron Thor. I will now call him Sword Thor. The three Thors go into the palace. Elsewhere, Vision is being taken down by Ultron Vision, while Ultron Captain America tries to take over Iron Man’s armour. But fails. No wi-fi. He takes out Cap and Hawkeye, then he and Vision take out Ultron Vision. Meanwhile, Hulk’s been decapitated, while Captain Americage and Black Widow kick some ass. Bruce Banner’s head grows from the wound. The bad lady throws the shield at him again, but Hulk catches it and throws it back, splitting her in half. This is from a time when the Hulk’s mutations were really messed up, back in the early early early days. It’s, uh, weird. The Thors find All-Father Ultron, and attack, but it goes less than well. He’s got Odin’s power now. But now that he’s conquered the world, he doesn’t know why he did it. But ’80s Thor has an idea, and it involves Lady Thor using two hammers at once. A very cool second part to the three-part story. The ending isn’t particularly surprising, but it’s done really well. There’s a lot of great action, and some very cool character stuff with all the various characters. Ewing shows, once again, that he adores delving into Marvel continuity. I mean, who else would even remember that the Hulk used to mutate in weird ways so he’d have Banner’s head and stuff like that? The editor note specifically mentions Hulk #6 – who the hell remembers those earliest comics? It makes for a fun story. Davis’ art is what you’d expect from Davis. I mean that as a compliment – Davis is a great artist. His All-Father Ultron is a standout, when he unleashe shis power and you can see the cosmos within him. This is a really fun book.

I want to mention Silver Surfer #11, by Dan Slott and Mike Allred, for being so damned weird. And brilliant. And also having French aliens. No, really, they say “oui” and “bien” and other French words. That’s great. How many writers actually use cues to make the reader hear aliens with anything other than an English accent? And man, Mike Allred’s fantastic.

Bitch Planet #4, by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro. At the funeral for a dead guy, Father is conducting business related to Megaton. This is actually a really great scene, a nice bit of satire on an entertainment industry that gleefully exploits the dead. On Bitch Planet, Kamau is trying to assemble her Megaton team. Another inmate arrives with some Bibles, and insists that Kamau take a copy. Inside is a note to meet someone in the showers. So, it’s time for The Obligatory Shower Scene. She meets a one-eyed woman, Fanny, who starts making out with another girl, Renelle. Fanny gets Kamau to at least pretend to join them, in order to be close enough for information to be shared. Fanny tells Kamau they’re going to try to kill her team in the Game. I should note that we see very, very, very little in this scene, for obvious reasons. The scene isn’t meant to be titillating. It’s meant to satirize the Obligatory Shower Scene in Women In Prison movie, and to make that obligatory scene make some sense. So there’s large panels blocking most of the “action.” (Apparently, it took them three tries to get it right, which led to the issue being late.) We’re given the Megaton rules by the holograms Hailey an Kailey. One of the guard guys doesn’t seem to like them. They’re basically cheerleaders. They’re mostly just telling women to talk about Megaton with men in order to get them interested. But we do then get an explanation of the rules. The point is to get a ball into corner pockets or over a short wall. The teams are allowed to beat the shit out of each other, as long as fights are kept one-on-one. Each team can have any number of players, but their combined weight can’t exceed 2000 lbs. We get a quick demonstration with Penny and Meiko. Penny is awesome, as always. I also want to mention that the fake ads on the back cover of this issue are the most terrible and hilarious yet. All I’ll say is this: Spicy Cinnamon Taco Douche. Anyway. This issue is more awesomeness. KSD and De Landro are killing it. This issue ups the ante on the exploitation, while deconstructing it and making it work for the story. We also get a little more plot advancement, and the last of the primary set-up we need, with the Megaton rules. And there’s also one more bit of set-up, as we get Kamau’s primary motivation. We also get Penny being awesome, which isn’t surprising. The Megaton “exhibition” match is great. The whole series is great. I’m loving this book so damn much. It’s smart, it’s unapologetic, it’s got attitude, and it’s got a lesbian shower scene. Buy this book, dammit.

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From → 2015, Uncategorized

2 Comments
  1. Yeah, of the titles we’re both reading, Bitch Planet 4 is the one I’m most looking forward to when I get back.

    Why does Spider-Man and the X-Men even exist? Honestly.

    Glad to hear that G. Willow Wilson’s arc ended well.

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