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Pull list for January 13 2016

January 12, 2016

I’m off tomorrow, so reviews as normal.

I’ll go to the store for: All-New All-Different Avengers #3, by Mark Waid, Adam Kubert and Sonia Oback; InSeXts #2, by Marguerite Bennett, Ariela Kristantina and Bryan Vallenza; My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic #38, by Christina Rice and Agnes Garbowska; Silk #3, by Robbie Thompson, Tana Ford and Ian Herring.

I’ll also review: All-New Wolverine #4, by Tom Taylor, David Lopez, David Navarrot and Nathan Fairbairn; All-New X-Men #3, by Dennis Hopeless, Mark Bagley, Andrew Hennessy and Nolan Woodard; Extraordinary X-Men #5, by Jeff Lemire, Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba and Edgar Delgado; Secret Wars #9, by Jonathan Hickman, Esad Ribic and Ive Svorcina; Uncanny Avengers #4, by Gerry Duggan, Ryan Stegman and Richard Isanove.

So that’s 4 comics I’m picking up, and 6 reviews. An odd week, for me, I think.

I’m most excited for Silk and InSeXts. Silk’s been some good stuff. I do like Tana Ford. And InSeXts #1 was really frigging good, so I’m psyched for this series.

So Civil War II won’t be Iron Man vs. Captain America, as people initially believed. It’ll be Iron Man vs. Captain Marvel. Which is pretty awesome. This will be the first big event where a woman played a real leading role without just being a plot point. She’ll be actually the leader of one side. The wrong side, yes, but oh well. Unlike the original Civil War, I expect CW2 to actually still be nuanced and intelligent, with both sides being portrayed sympathetically. Bendis won’t be turning Captain Marvel into a supervillain or anything. He likes her too much for that. Millar was always big on deconstructing superheroes, Bendis just loves doing big superhero stories.

It’s also worth noting that, unlike previous Marvel writers’ retreats, this one wasn’t just a bunch of white guys. G. Willow Wilson and Ta-Nehisi Coates were both there, along with Sana Amanat. So there were female voices there. Plus, Wilson and Coates both have journalism backgrounds and are both minorities, so they’re well-informed on profiling, and I’m sure they both gave their opinions when CW2 was being discussed at the retreat. And hopefully, Bendis will be sure to talk to Fazekas and Butters, the writers of the upcoming Captain Marvel series, and get some input from them, as well.

I still won’t be buying the book, of course, because event. But still, I’m pleased to see Captain Marvel get such a major role. It’s another indication that Marvel is really dedicated to pushing female characters.

I finished reading The Bookshop Book, by Jen Campbell. My review:

As a book about bookshops, this is pretty good at what it does. It talks about a lot of really interesting bookshops from around the world, but more than that, it talks about the value and importance of bookshops. It talks about some of the magic moments that occur in bookshops, and the general magic of books themselves. And it’s all very nice.

I do have some complaints, though. For one thing, it probably could’ve used more pictures of bookshops. But the bigger complaint I have is that it’s very much Euro-centric, especially the UK. Campbell is British, so it makes sense, but Europe gets 150 pages, more than half the book. Of those, 75 are spent on English bookshops, with another 30 for Scotland, Wales and Ireland. The entire Asian continent gets 20 pages. Which is a damned sight more than Africa, South America or Australia get. (10 pages for Africa. 5 for Central and South America. 8 for Australia. North America gets 55 pages.) I feel like the book would’ve been improved by having a little more space dedicated to all those continents.

However, it is still a good book. If you like books – the very idea of physical books – then you’ll probably enjoy this.

Next up, SuperMutant Magic Academy, by Jillian Tamaki.

So, last week, I talked a little about being depressed. And that was fun. It went over really well, in that no one told me to shut up and go back to talking about comics. So I thought I’d talk about it some more. Yay? And as I said last week, this isn’t me looking for pity or sympathy or anything. Being told things will get better never actually helps. No one has ever been told, “Hey, cheer up,” and then said, “Hey, you know, you’re right. I actually feel better already.” Not without it being sarcastic. I’m just getting this stuff out because confession is good for the soul. (Here’s the crazy part, though: I actually kinda worry about doing this. I feel self-indulgent, talking about my personal problems on my own blog. How’s that for low self-esteem? A part of me thinks someone will read this and actually will think, “Shut up and go back to talking about comics.” I’m definitely too self-conscious.)

When I say I’m depressed, I don’t mean it in the clinical sense. I’m pretty sure I’m not clinically depressed. I mean it in the lay sense of the word – that I’m sad. To be honest, I just plain hate my life. I’m in a really shitty place. I’ve been single for over two years now. The only friend I have lives in another city so I rarely get to see her. I could deal with those. But the big problem is I hate my job. I’m working part-time as a cashier at Wal-Mart. That is frigging depressing. If I was younger, just finishing high school, just getting my first job, then it’d be fine. Or even if I was living with someone else who was making good money and I was just supplementing our income, then sure, I could do that. But I’m less than a month away from hitting 31, I have $15 000 in debt, and I live with my mom, who’s even broker than I am. My mom’s retired, and living off a pension that’s way too small for her. She’s tried getting financial aid, but she’s been drawing on RRSPs over the past few years, which technically counted towards her income, so even though that money’s all gone, any financial aid is based on her reported income from last year. So she has to wait until 2017 before she can get the aid. But she needs it now. She can’t pay the bills she has. And I can’t really help her, because I’m not making enough money. I pay her $200 a month in rent, which is really all I can afford, but it’s nowhere near enough. There’s good odds she’ll end up having to sell the house – for too little money – and I have no idea what’ll happen at that point. I’m sure as shit not making enough money to get an apartment, even sharing it with someone else. I’d probably have to go work at a local call centre, which I really, really don’t want to do. I worked at a call centre for 7 fucking years, and it crushed my soul a little more every single day. The very thought of working in a call centre scares me. But I may not have a choice soon.

I could accept a lot of the shittiness of my life if I could get a job in a library. I went to college to work in a library, it’s a field I want to work in. But it’s tough. There aren’t many jobs that apply to me. Either they require a Master’s Degree – and there’s no way I could afford to go to university, so that’s not happening – or they’re part-time and wouldn’t pay enough to be worth it for me. Or they require experience, which I don’t have, because I can’t get a job, and I can’t get a job, because I don’t have experience. Those Catch-22s are bullshit.

I’m still trying. I still look for library jobs, here and there. I apply to a few. But they never call me for an interview. So, I’m stuck working part-time as a cashier for Wal-Mart. And then I spend all my time sitting on the computer, trying to distract myself from how miserable I am.

I try to be a positive person, but it’s tough. I can actually feel good about the state of the world, but I can’t feel good about myself. It feels hopeless. I worry that I’ll never get a library job, that I’m going to end up working in a call centre until I die of a stress-related heart attack at 36. Alone, of course. Because I also worry that I’m not going to get another girlfriend. How can I? I have absolutely nothing to offer a woman. I have nothing to offer the world as a whole. I’m a pointless person. I don’t actually contribute anything to the world. I’m not talking about making a big mark, creating something people will remember. Even on a small scale, I bring nothing to the world. A blog with really poorly-done reviews of X-Men comics. And a shitty superhero story. That’s all. Those are my great accomplishments. If I died tomorrow, there are three people who would care. I’m a waste of space. I’m a drain on the planet’s resources.

And the reason for this is because I’m not happy. It’s hard to contribute to the world when you’re miserable. If I worked in a library, then I would be happy, and my happiness at my job would allow me to actually help people, and make their world just a little bit brighter. That’s all it takes to be a productive member of society: Make other people feel good. But that is almost impossible to do when you don’t feel good about yourself. And I don’t feel good about myself. So I’m not able to bring any positivity to other people.

So, yeah, that’s how I’m feeling: My life is shitty, I’m a worthless human being, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die miserable and alone. That’s how I’ve been feeling for a long time. And I don’t even have a friend I can sit and talk about this shit with in-person.

On the plus side, InSeXts #2 tomorrow. That should be pretty good.

I’m supposed to go with a friend to see Hateful Eight on Saturday. That should be fun.

My schedule for the week: 10:15-4:45 Sunday. And then 4:45-11:15 next Wednesday. Yeah, it’s pretty frustrating how few hours I’m getting now. I need to ask about getting more hours, because man, 12 hours in a week is nowhere near enough for the bills I’ve got. It sucks. Regardless, next pull list on Tuesday, and posts on lots of days.

And that’s all I’ve got for this week.

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2 Comments
  1. I feel you with the whole job thing. I’m also stuck with a retail job at the moment (been working in the same store for 10 years now), even though I’m a college grad. Worse yet, as part of this new contract from a recent merger, my pay rate just went down $2 an hour. But it’s hard for me to find a job related to my studies because I don’t have any good references in the field right now. Here’s hoping we can both find something soon.

    • Jeez. Pay cuts shouldn’t even be allowed. But, of course, the CEO really needed that extra 0 on the end of his own paycheck.

      Fuck corporations.

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